Finding someone to play your game with: a guide for the lonely and/or obsessed

It doesn't seem like the reasons for excessive gaming zeal are mysterious are complex. If you want someone to read a book you read, you can at least join a book club, go online and discuss it, or ask someone to read who might pretend to, satisfying your need for book comraderie.

And movies! It's easy to get people to watch a movie; it's two hours. You, or someone else, can fake it 'til you make it through any movie of any genre. Men who have succeeded in relationships can tell you all about it: to endure a "chick flick" often means scoring major points.

Games, on the other hand, require not just an investment of time, but of effort. To play a game and then not really try or not really enjoy it makes it awkward. Finding someone else to play any game that isn't popular can be very difficult.

If you don't know anyone who likes your game it is imperative, therefore, that one of two things occurs: you either persuade people to like your game and make arguments on its behalf, or you learn to find people who already feel the same as you do. The first method is one that people are doing all the time; no doubt if you are online you are already able to persuade people to play something other than what they already do! Finding someone who already likes what you play is difficult, though.

That's why I've made a handy guide on how to find people to play the games you want to play. Can't find anyone who wants to play Band of Bugs, Quake 4, or Fury? NO PROBLEM! I, Michael Walbridge, can show you how. Not all options work, but for any system or game, there is a guaranteed method by which you will be able to find someone to play your game with you.

For just $9.95 a month or by continuing to read below, I will share my secrets with you about how to find people to play any video game with you, not just World of Warcraft or Gears of War 2!

Nintendo Wii

The Nintendo Wii can't be played online, unfortunately, but there is an option through which you can play with your Wii with other people, and it's the most important option there is.

The Wii Option

1. Find friends or groups of people who like to play video games, or who also have this system.
2. Send a communication of some sort to this person. Say something like, "Hey, have you tried this game? Want to play it sometime?"
3. Wait for a response.
4. Go from there, treating it like any other planned social event, such as playing soccer, going shopping, going on a bow hunting or hog hunting trip or a trip that involves both, drinking alcohol, drinking coffee, or drinking both alcohol and coffee mixed together.

The steps in the Wii option are a common and effective way to play games with people. Also, this option works for a surprising number of systems, ranging from as early as the Atari 2600 (earlier, some claim) and onward to systems like the Atari Lynx, the Atari Jaguar, and even more recent offline systems such as the Nintendo Gamecube. In fact, exhaustive studies have proven that the Wii option works for any system!

Playstation 2

Unfortunately, the Playstation 2 doesn't have online capabilities, just like the Nintendo Wii. See options for the Wii, listed above.

Playstation 3

The Playstation 3 has severely changed its method of social interaction; fortunately, I have delved the secrets of multiplayer success and am sharing them with you.

Option 1

1. Sign into Home.
2. Start up the game of your choice and go into a game lobby.
3. Wait.

Option 2

1. Walk around the town, displaying which game you'd like to play.
2. If no one comes, log out or go to a place where no one can see you and change your avatar to a female avatar.
3. A female avatar's effectiveness is reduced if your name is something like xXxDUDExXx. If a female avatar won't get anyone to play a game with you, option three will not work.
4. Remember to fake your voice or manage to pretend that you don't have a mic. Act feminine!

Option 3

1. Go to the official Playstation forums, or some other forum online.
2. Talk up your game, leave your ID and get the names of others.
3. Send and accept friend invites.
4. Try to get people on these lists to play with you. Send a message that says something like "Hey, do you have this game? Want to play it sometime?"
5. Go from there, etc.

Xbox 360

The Xbox 360 is home to some of the most disgusting version of male known to man. Fortunately, there are ways you can play games that are not Call of Duty 4, Halo 3, and Gears of War 2. Did you know that you can play card games like Uno and Texas Hold 'em? These games never have anything unpleasant occur in them; that's why the online interactions don't need to be rated!

There are other games, too, and the secrets to finding people to play with lie below.

Option 1

1. Sign into LIVE.
2. Start up the game of your choice and go in to the game lobby.
3. Wait.

Option 2

1. Go to the official XBox forums; look for the forum for the specific game you are thinking of. Add your name to the "Who plays this game anymore?" and/or "If you still play this game, put your name HERE" threads.
2. Send and accept friend invites.
3. See option three for the PS3 above.

Nintendo DS

The Nintendo DS cannot be played online, but there are plenty of places where a large number of people have a DS. There are numerous options for finding people to play the DS with you.

Option 1

1. Go to a place where it is known that many of the people have a DS. Make sure popular titles such as Mario Kart DS and the latest edition of Pokemon are on your person.
2. Attempt to socialize with these people.
3. It is likely this will be difficult; parents, teachers, administrators, or even the DS owners themselves might not approve of your attempts to play the DS with them. It is probably best to not even try this option, but instead to try the Wii option.

Important note: make sure that the person has the game that you do, because for every person playing you need a copy of the game!

PSP

The Wii option seems to be the only effective option for the Sony Playstation Portable. Rumor has it that watching movies is a more popular social activity than is playing video games; the PSP is often-touted as an effective movie-watching device, something that the other consoles do not boast of! This may account for why it is difficult to even find the mention of a PSP being used to play multiplayer games. This is still being researched and I'll reveal the findings as soon as they are discovered.

PC

The personal computer is a complex device with numerous options. Sometimes the methods through which you will find people to play will vary depending upon the type of game you play!

Option 1

1. It is worth noting that the options for the Wii can actually work on the computer! Grab two controllers, Lego Batman, a bunch of ROMs (these are widely available and the gaming companies provide them for FREE) or whatever, sit yourselves down, and like magic you can have your own creatively created console experience! Right at home!

Option 2

1. Use the servers or network that the game features; this is particularly relevant for first person shooters or real time strategy games.
2. Wait.

Option 3

1. For MMOs, consult the instruction manual or one of many Internet sites on how to be in these unique game worlds.

Option 4

1. Use forums or websites in a manner similar to the options used for consoles.

Option 5

1. Go to a LAN cafe. You may need to combine the Wii Option with this option in order for it to work effectively. Get your LAN cafe's permission before installing games they don't have.

Option 6

1. Use game socialization software combined with the approach of forums and/or the Wii Option; Steam, MiRC, Xfire, Facebook, Raptr, GamerDNA, and MyGameMug are all examples. Combine with option number two.